It’s Wednesday! And that means it’s time for another chapter of Seasons of a Mother’s Heart here at Mama’s!
I’m so thrilled that y’all are enjoying this study as much as I am. Your emails and comments have shown me that there is such a need for encouragement among mothers in the homeschooling community.
I couldn’t be more excited to study right along with you!
So let’s get started on Chapter 2 – Changing My Will.
Disclaimer: This chapter is a very personal one for me. I hope my honesty will be helpful and not a hindrance.
Changing My Will as a Homeschooling Mother
I mentioned on my Facebook page that this was by far the most read chapter of my book. Why?
Because I have had so much trouble with changing my will as a homeschool mama.
While God has changed and grown me in so many areas, there are still a few aspects of my will that need to bend to His.
And that is hard.
I occasionally think that I’m entitled to time alone, or 2 minutes alone in the bathroom, or a good night’s rest (when my youngest is 4!!). But the reality is that I’m not entitled to any of those things if I’m truly devoted to my husband, my children, and my home.
The Lord has shown me – yet again – that if I will pour myself into these children He’s blessed me with, He will give me all of the strength and rest that I need. Even if that means getting up in the night with kiddos who have bad dreams again or growing pains.
He will give me what I need if I can just get past myself.
How I Want My Children to Remember Me
I often think about how I want my children to remember me when they are grown and no longer under my constant care.
Will they think I was loving and their biggest cheerleader?
Will they think I always made time for them? To look them in the eyes as they told me a story or talked about their favorite topic?
Will they know that I am so unbelievably grateful to be their mother? Have I told them that enough?
Or will they think I was snappy and had a harsh tongue I couldn’t control?
Will they remember me as being irritable, annoyed, and frustrated by them?
This quote from Sally Clarkson stops me dead in my tracks every time I read it. In this portion of the chapter, Sally is describing giving up her beloved newsletter to be more fully present with her children. To say I can relate is the understatement of the year.
Her words about her oldest daughter are sobering to me:
Was I going to have the time to touch her heart for the Lord, to share secrets over mugs of hot tea, to discuss spiritual lessons learned and life decisions to be made? Would I walk by her side through that room of youth and escort her through the door into adulthood, or would I be just an occasional companion as she walked it mostly by herself? (Clarkson 47)
In order to not be only an occasional companion to my children, I must be fully present.
In order for my children to remember me as a loving mother, one who loves them dearly and enjoys them, I must be fully present.
I must be present physically and mentally each day.
This section prompted this question:
♥ What one practical step can I make today that will show my children I am thrilled to be at home with them? I often tell them I love being at home with them, but what can I do to show them?
Sacrifice
Sacrifice.
Just the word makes me cringe just a bit.
We’re so comfortable here in America that we don’t want to sacrifice anything – our time, money, effort, energy, possessions.
Sacrifice is a foreign concept for most of us, yet it shouldn’t be because we have the perfect example of sacrifice set before us in Jesus.
Is it just me, or did anyone else find some comfort and encouragement just reading that homeschooling our children is an enormous sacrifice?
I re-read this section a couple of times, just for that validation. I think we all need that from time to time.
Thankfully, I have a husband who often acknowledges this homeschooling life is a sacrifice for me. That’s like salve to my soul each time he says it!
Yes, even on those occasions when I’m feeling entitled, I am comforted by this concept:
To me, though, it is a small sacrifice if by it I may send my children into the next generation bursting with spiritual life, ready to change the world for Christ? (Clarkson 51)
Yes!
Lord, help me to see the big picture through spiritual eyes.
Journaling and Prayer
During this Seasons of a Mother’s Heart study with all of you, I’m journaling and praying as I read through each chapter.
As I read through the ‘Thoughts on the Living Word’ section (page 53), I recorded a few of those questions/tasks in my journal.
♥ I prayed for the Lord to change my heart on those days that I don’t want to sacrifice. I also prayed for him to give me spiritual eyes to see the big picture in raising and discipling these precious children He’s given me.
♥ I prayed for God to give me contentment and fulfillment in His perfect way – not in the ways that I think are right.
♥ I was reminded that discovering God’s Will each day involves: daily prayer, daily reflection on His Word, daily obedience.
♥ One of the scripture readings is John 15:22-23. I made a list of what it looks like for me to lay down my life for my friends (children).
What About You?
How did the Lord speak to you this week as you read through Chapter 2 of Seasons of a Mother’s Heart?
Did the Lord convict you of anything?
Did God affirm your efforts and give you insight?
Did He speak to you through His Word?
Please leave your comments below. I would love to hear your thoughts on Chapter 2!
I’m so thrilled you’re reading along with me!
ABC Puzzle Cards for Preschool: Interactive Learning Activities
This chapter really affirmed some things I’ve struggled with. I often hear, “You need to __________ more” (volunteer for projects, join committees, get a part-time job), but I know in my heart that God has called me to put my children and my husband first and I trust that He is guiding me in these decisions. There are definitely times when I think about the work I did before my children were born and wonder if I could just squeeze a little of it into our day, and times when I know I have the skills necessary to help out on a project and I feel guilty that I’m not giving my time to it. But then I look at my young family and realize that I’m barely getting any sleep as it is, and my husband is struggling to get through his workday just to try to make enough money (he’s self-employed) so he doesn’t need me to ask him to take on any more responsibility at home…and I say “no” and hear the disappointment and the judgment coming from the other person. This chapter reminded me that ultimately, I answer to God and follow His will. Others may try to influence me and make me feel guilty, but they are not who I should be looking to for direction.
I also found sadness (and truth) in her statement, “To those who choose to put their children in public school, your decision to homeschool is a passive condemnation of their lifestyle.” I have found this to be such a difficult part of making and maintaining friendships (and family relationships suffer at times, too). But again, if I am living in His will, then I cannot apologize for the decisions we (my husband and I) are making.
Hi Lauren and Amy, I was blessed reading both of your comments. Lauren, I read your entry earlier today and wanted to reply but instead just ended up thinking about what you wrote. I can really relate to many of the things you said. Sacrifice has been hard for me as well–as you mentioned it’s a totally alien and unlikeable concept in our culture especially as concerning mothers. There are so many things to say about the chapter, it’s almost overwhelming. So much good food for thought. I had all kinds of things I wanted to say but now that I have the chance I’m just plain old tired, lol. I did really enjoy reading through Hebrews 11 what Sally called the “faith hall of fame” with fresh eyes, specifically thinking of the sacrifices that a mother makes and how she is called to step out in faith without knowing how God will provide ahead of time and depending on God and His unseen force of strength and sovereignty in this very physical and carnal world.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts this week. Looking forward to reading more.
I can’t imagine a more personal chapter for me. I felt as though it both encouraged me and at times, bit me! First, the biting: when considering Sally’s newsletter dilemma, I thought about what might I be choosing over my husband and children. Then, she links that to God’s will. So, my questions here are, “what is God’s will for this circumstance, path, situation? Is my reaction one of thankfulness and contentment?”
Now, the encouragement: Sally discusses society’s vision for what females/mothers should do, “to transcend the ‘limited’ roles of homemaker and mother to reach for ‘something higher.'” I have felt this first-hand when I gave up my role as a practicing family physician to stay home with my children. I received a lot of harsh criticism for our family’s choice. Thankfully, the Lord has opened the nay-sayers eyes recently.
“How can I ignore that calling on my life and expect to find blessing and fulfillment somewhere else? (50)”
I am enjoying this book so much! It is truly speaking to my heart.
Oh me too, Pam. Even though I’ve read it several times, I’m reading it with fresh eyes again.
Love that!
So glad you’re reading along with me! xo
I am still working on catching up but getting closer 😉
I just finished Chapter 2 and as the other comments have been, this chapter really helped me focus on what truly needs to be done in my life. I need to let go of the “don’t I deserve…….” Even, just last night as I was setting up for school for today, and cleaning up the kitchen, and bathing the kiddos\;, I kept thinking, “I just want/need a few minutes to sit before having to call it a night……Don’t I deserve that, I have worked hard….”
This has been an ongoing issue for me. One that God has really been convicting me of, for the last couple of months. And that is why the statement Sally said “How can I ignore that calling on my life and expect to find blessing and fulfillment somewhere else?” (50), really stood out to me.
My rest and my strength need only to come from Him. It’s a hard adjustment but I know that He will continue to lead me if I will just let Him do so.
Hi everyone~Thanks for your comments and insights. I am reading along with you, too. I am very encouraged by the book.
Yay! I’m so glad you’re reading along wiht us, Michele! It IS so encouraging.
I am still working on catching up but getting closer 😉
I just finished Chapter 2 and as the other comments have been, this chapter really helped me focus on what truly needs to be done in my life. I need to let go of the “don’t I deserve…….” Even, just last night as I was setting up for school for today, and cleaning up the kitchen, and bathing the kiddos\;, I kept thinking, “I just want/need a few minutes to sit before having to call it a night……Don’t I deserve that, I have worked hard….”
This has been an ongoing issue for me. One that God has really been convicting me of, for the last couple of months. And that is why the statement Sally said “How can I ignore that calling on my life and expect to find blessing and fulfillment somewhere else?” (50), really stood out to me.
My rest and my strength need only to come from Him. It’s a hard adjustment but I know that He will continue to lead me if I will just let Him do so.
YES – the ‘don’t I deserve it?’ issue is a lingering one for me as well! It’s one of those things I have to stay on top of or I start to have a pity party for myself.
“It’s a hard adjustment but I know that He will continue to lead me if I will just let Him do so.” LOVE that.
I’m so glad you’re reading along with me! 🙂